What Is It About New York?

Okay, I’ve lived in New York for 19 months now, and there are some things about this state that I love, and some that drive me bonkers! For instance:

1. New Yorkers Are Afraid of the Rain. No kidding. If it starts raining, it’s as if someone launched a nuclear attack. Everyone takes cover, hunkers down and waits for the disaster to be over.

In California, we may not like the rain, but we aren’t afraid to go out in it! It doesn’t stop us, say, from going to a movie or a concert… or the store! But New Yorkers use rain as an excuse to cancel everything.

Maybe New Yorkers melt if they get wet.

2. Pedestrians DO NOT Have the Right of Way… No Matter What!
Even in crosswalks. In fact, crosswalks are useless here because drivers could care less if you’re in one, about to walk into one or trying to hightail it out of one. They will mow you down either way. And I’m not talking about city drivers but up here in the Hudson Valley.

In California, if a pedestrian is anywhere near a crosswalk, if they’re even thinking about a crosswalk, and you don’t stop, you get fined, big time!

3. New Yorkers Don’t Believe in Street Signs. In New York City, the streets are very well marked. But upstate, forget about it! That Google map won’t do a bit of good, because it may tell you to turn left on Wallafunka Street, but chances are very good that Wallafunka Street (and any other street you’re looking for) won’t have a street sign.

For someone new to the area (like yours truly), this is enough to make you want to turn the car west and head back to California.

4. New Yorkers Are Polite, Kind and Helpful. Since I’ve been here, I’ve only seen one person who came close being the sullen, obnoxious, rude or even hateful New Yorker stereotype. It was a woman in a drug store in New York City who started yelling at the girl behind the counter, insulting her, because… well, I’m not sure why.

Everyone else — from those who said “Excuse me” when they had to snuggle in close to me on the subway, to those on the streets of the city who always pointed me in the right direction, to the woman working at Starbucks who let us in 5 minutes after closing because we were desperate for coffee — has been courteous, helpful and very kind.

New Yorkers rock. Even if they are afraid of the rain.

My original goal in taking on this project was to explore more of the Hudson Valley. But in the end, the real gift of this project was an augmented awareness of how every day does bring new experiences, whether you focus on them or not. And if you intentionally invite new, wonderful experiences into your day, there’s a very good chance they’ll show up.

On Day 29, my new experience was going to the weekly Friday Nite Jam Session at Stephen Crawford’s place in Olivebridge. My bon vivant Mark and I have been meaning to go for weeks and weeks, and we haven’t been able to make it for one reason or another. But not this Friday! We google-mapped the address and headed out to Olivebridge.

Stephen has a great stage set up in his spacious backyard. When we arrived, there was an eclectic mix of musicians already jamming. Mark set up his amp and guitar, grabbed a homemade brew (Stephen and Dona make their own beer) and joined the jam. In a matter of minutes, I was headed back to the car because I was getting devoured by mosquitos. They LOVE me, those obnoxious intruders of lovely summer nights. And when I get bit by one, the bite always swells up to the size of crimson baseball, so I had to take cover.

But I could still hear the music from the car, and it was so wonderful to hear Mark play, something I haven’t had the pleasure of for serveral months now.

We got totally lost on the way home (yet another new experience) mostly due to the fact that we were way out in the boonies and the roads in New York are so poorly marked. What’s with that? Is it really so hard to put up a street sign every once in a while so you know what road you’re on? Anyway, we did eventually make it home.

Saturday was Day 30, and it, too, was full of new experiences. Remember Gabe from Monkey Joe’s? He was part of my new experience on Day 16? Well, on Saturday morning, he and his longtime musical partner were playing at Monkey Joe’s in honor of the roasting company’s 10 year anniversary. They call their duo “The Morning Howlers.” After hearing some of Gabe’s original tunes on Day 16, I didn’t want to miss his performance. Here’s a clip of one of his originals:

Later that same day, my friends Peter Wetzler and Julie Hedrick were having a little open house featuring Julie’s new series of paintings, so Mark and I wandered over around 6:00 pm or so. Their home, which used to be the chapel and rectory of one of Kingston’s many churches (Kingston is a city of churches; I swear they must have more churches per capita than any other city in the world), was a’buzz with people, sipping wine, eating blue cheese and looking at Julie’s vibrant, stunning new paintings featuring the color red.

Peter, Julie’s husband, is a talented composer who mostly writes film scores now. A bit of a crazy kook, Peter  dressed up in a black kilt and red tie for the occassion. Here’s a photo of Peter with Mark Marshall, another talented composer. Doesn’t Peter have lovely legs? Why wouldn’t he show them off?

We’ve been to other gatherings and Peter and Julie’s, and every time, we meet some wonderful people. This evening was no exception. New people, new paintings, new experiences!

On Day 31, yesterday, I rested. A lot. Lazy morning, big bacon-and-eggs breakfast, the Sunday New York Times, a little nap. What was new? Well, around 1:00 or 2:00 pm, Mark and I opened a bottle of Schramsburg Sparkling Wine, and chilled out for the rest of the afternoon, watching an old movie, eating popcorn. Afternoon champagne was a definite first for us, and the perfect end to this 31-day project.

Simple, quiet days can still bring new experiences, and sometimes, they’re the best. Like afternoon movies with champagne. Or watching the squirrels eat the cashews we threw on the deck. Just noticing something you haven’t noticed before or seeing it from a totally new perspective.

It’s been a great 31-day project. So great, I’m starting a NEW one! Stay tuned.

Singing at Savona's

for me. The Boys and I performed at Savona’s Trattoria in Kingston, our regular monthly gig, and it was a great night for us. Lots of people showed up (which wasn’t the case last month) and the energy was high (as was the noise level) and the music flowed like Malbec wine.

What was the new experience of the evening? Well, two things. One was getting to meet Sari, another transplanted Californian who moved to Kingston just 90 days ago to be with her true love. Geez, when are we women going to learn to stop moving cross country for love? This is ridiculous!

I’d talked with Sari briefly by phone the evening before when my bon vivant Mark called me from the Kingston Digital Corridor Happier Hour at Keegan Ales and said, “You need to meet this woman! She just moved from Northern California and just like you, she misses all her friends!” Mark had just met Sari at Keegan’s, and after hearing a bit of her story and seeing the way she frowned and pouted out her lower lip when he mentioned the fact I loved New York but really missed my friends back in California, he called me on his cell and handed the phone to Sari. We talked a bit, in that awkward, I-don’t-really-know-you way for a few minutes, about California, about Whole Foods, about adjusting to a strange new place, and then I invited her to come to the gig the following night.

And she came! With her lover man, Brad. And it was such a joy to meet her in person! She’s as sunny as… California on a summer day. Beautiful, expressive, sensitive and full of life. We hit it off immediately, and now we have plans to become good friends!

My other new experience was eating Salmon Limoncello at Savona’s. I’d never tried it before, though it’s been on the menu forever. OH MY GOD! It was so delicious. Perfectly cooked, it melted in my mouth. And I ate the whole thing! Plus the pile of broccoli rabe sauteed in garlic. Very yummy, and the perfect end to a great evening.

On Day 27, the day before yesterday, I was reading a post by Rebecca Martin on the Kingston Citizens blog about the Mt. Zion African Burial Ground in Kingston. I quickly looked on a Google map to see where it was, thinking that if it were close enough, I could walk there. New adventure! But it was too far to go. But as I looked at the map, I noticed that Wiltwyck Cemetery was closer, and I’d never been there before. Ah, ha!

I guess I’ve got a thing for cemeteries. I find them fascinating and often beautiful. The way people honor their dead loved ones is so revealing, so personal yet so public. And they hint at the history of the city: the names, the families, the people who came here centuries ago. I find myself wondering, as I read certain headstones, who were these people? So, on Wednesday, before the day got too hot, I walked to Wiltwyck Cemetery.

This is one big, beautiful cemetery! I thought Montrepose Cemetery in Kingston was huge, but Wiltwyck could be even larger. It’s certainly more dense with mounuments and statues and headstones, and harder to navigate. I felt lost in it, and I was almost unable to find my way out once I got deep inside.

Here’s an odd thing. As I was writing this post, I got curious as to the history of Wiltwyck Cemetery, so I googled it. I found next to nothing on its history, but what I did discover is that the name of the cemetery seems to have two spellings: Wiltnyck OR Wiltwyck. Whaa??? How could that be?

On Day 26, I didn’t have a new experience. I didn’t. It was just a day of working here in my office, getting ready for the gig at Savona’s, doing some cooking. A lovely quiet day.

Only three more days of this 31 Days of Exeriencing New Things! BUT… I have a new 31 Day idea for August. I’m pretty excited about it. I’ll tell you soon!

I’m talking about cicadas, or as my bon vivant calls them, hot weather bugs. I’d never heard them “live” until I moved here and experienced what’s been a pretty darn hot summer. Because it’s when the weather gets hot that cicadas shake the trees with their loud, buzzy sound.

On Sunday, Day 24 of Experiencing New Things, I actually saw one! A big, slightly iridescent cicada, which had been lying on its back on our deck until Mark gently flipped him over. He rested a while, then sang his buzzy song and moved on. Yep, my Sunday new experience!

Yesterday, Day 25, I excused myself from work a little early and went to see the movie, “Inception,” which was incredible! Who in the heck thought this up? What a mind-boggling premise! Sci-fi blockbusters are not usually my cup of tea, but this one is so smart, so brilliantly thought out, and beautifully produced, that I was enthralled throughout all 148 minutes of it. A perfect summer movie.

The last week or so, it’s been more challenging to make good on my 31 Day commitment. I’ve been feeling physically worn out, which has made it hard to be inspired by anything except a long nap. But I’m heading into the finish now, only 6 more days to go! And I’m going to make ‘em count!

As I pulled up to Mudita Yoga, I saw a woman with a yoga mat starring at the door of the center, then walk away. Hmmm. Sure enough. According to the notice on the front door, class had been canceled. Here I had summoned up my willingness to be the clumsy “beginner” in a class situation, and I’d been spared by circumstances beyond my control.

Yet, I was disappointed. Shoot! My new experience plans had been thwarted!

So… I can’t say I did anything new yesterday. It just didn’t happen.

But today was a new day! And a very hot one, too! In 94-degree heat, I went to the Kingston Farmer’s Market, which felt oddly quiet and slow, most likely due to the oppressive, sticky heat. Then, I went to the Kingston Libary, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while.

It’s such a small libary! In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a library with such a small collection of books. It was kind of cute! And the librarian was so sweet. I found a couple of books to check out, then went through the process of getting my Kingston library card. Another first!

This afternoon, I’ve been reading one of the books I checked out, The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, and resting, mostly. This has been an incredibly hard, taxing week, and to have this lazy Saturday to read and relax has been very healing.

By the way, libraries are so very cool. I forgot just how cool they are. In this time when so much of what we read is online, or can be ordered online from Amazon.com, I forgot how much you can get FOR FREE from your public library.

Go check it out.

And I had about three days of bad ones. Honestly, I’ve been up against some horrible, heartwrenching challenges over these past few days, unlike I’ve ever experienced before. They’ve taken me to a new edge… and threatened to push me over. But I’m holding on. By my fingernails.

But there were some sweet moments as well. Like watching squirrels napping in the tree outside my window. They were just lounging, one with his little body splayed out, the other looking down, as if in a trance. Basking in the summer heat, perfectly still, for almost an hour.

Yesterday, in an effort to lift myself up and out of a dark place, I took myself out for Indian food. I LOVE Indian food, and I haven’t had any really good Indian food since I moved here. So, I made an adventure out of it by choosing an Indian restaurant in Red Hook, since I’d never been to Red Hook and going there would pack two new experiences into one: new town, new restaurant.

Red Hook was cute, funky and small. Most of the town consists of one main intersection, so it was easy to walk and take it in. The Indian restaurant I went to was pretty disappointing, at least, what I ordered wasn’t that great. But, as I said, you take the bad with the good, and vice versa.

Today, which is Day 22 of this 31-day focus, I’m going to a yoga class. Now, I haven’t done yoga in years! And I certainly haven’t been to a class here in Kingston, so this will be yet another new experience.

On Day 15 of Experiencing New Things, I was mired in the usual work day, spending most of it at my desk, meeting deadlines. I really thought I’d be without a new experience to report, but then, the skies grew dark, thunder boomed, and torrents of rain fell hard. It had been pretty toasty all day, and the sight of that thick sheet of rain called to me. I ran outside in my shorts and t-shirt, and let the rain just soak me through as I danced to the distant thunder and searched the skies for lightening.

Then, another new experience! The sudden downpour had created rivers of water in the street gutters, graceful, fast and

Me as Wet Rat in from the Rain

thick. So I jumped in! With both feet. And I almost gasped. While the rain was cool and refreshing, the water swirling around my feet was deliciously warm, warmer than bath water. Now, this may come as no surprise to other New Yorkers who are used to rain storms in the heat of summer, but for me, it took me a half-second to “get” it.

The hot streets, having broiled in the summer sun all day, had immediately cooked up the temperature of the rain water the second it hit the ground, and the more that water washed through the steets, the hotter it had become.

I came back into the house, happy and drenched to the bone, and in full appreciation for this 31 Daysof Experiencing New Things project. Because if I hadn’t been on the lookout for a new experience, I would have watched the thunderstorm from my window, then gone back to work. But when I saw that rain, I knew. Another  opportunity to experience something new had been delivered to my door.

On Saturday, Day 16, the act of buying coffee was transformed into yet another delightful, spontaneus, surprising event. On my way back from the Kingston Farmer’s Market, I stopped at Monkey Joe’s, one of Kingston’s famous coffee houses. My bon vivant likes a certain coffee there, so I thought I’d pick up a pound. Besides, it would give me a chance to put up a poster announcing my upcoming gig on July 29 at Savona’s.

The place was fairly empty (everyone at the Farmer’s’ Market, most likely). A good-looking gentleman in a Monkey Joe’s t-shirt was carrying large plastic dispensers of coffee beans from the back of the store to the display in front. I asked him, “Is it okay if I post this in your window,” handing him my poster. He looked at it, then at me, and asked, “Is that you?” pointing to the photo in the poster. A ligitimate question given the fact I was all diva-dolled up in the poster, while at that present moment, I looked like… well, me.

“Yep, that’s me!”

“Oh, yeah, okay, sure” he said. “Do you sing?” And that started a conversation about music. Seems he sings, too. AND writes songs. Lots of them. He even performs them from time to time with a guitar-playing buddy of his. Turns out I was talking to Gabe, who owns Monkey Joe’s. And to make a long story short, he ended up bringing out his guitar from the back room, sat at a table and sang 5-6 of his original songs. At one point, his adorable wife joined in to sing back-up. I was being treated to my very own Saturday morning concert!

And you know what? His songs are good! Great lyrics, — smart, snappy and full of story, and the songs were catchy, melodic, and diverse. Since serveral of his tunes could easily be rearranged as a jazz tune, I may get to cover 1-2 of his tunes at my September gig.

The rest of the day was full of new experiences as well. Before going to a concert — Art of the Duo with Maryanne deProphetis, vocals, and Frank Kimbrough, piano — at the New Music Salon at Beahive in Kingston, I had a glass of Pinot Grigio and a scallop appetizer at a new uptown Kingston restaurant, called Boiston’s. A small place with a good-sized bar and a partially open kitchen (which is always fun, to watch chefs cook) this restaurant has an upscale, classy feel without any attitude. It felt like walking into one of  San Francsico’s newer, trendier restaurants near the Castro or even downtown. I was right at home!

Jackie: singer, spitfire, eater of fried chicken

At the bar, I met a charming, ebullient 11-year old girl named Jackie who was sitting between her parents. She told me the fried chicken she was eating was the best she’d ever had. And I have to admit, it looked really good. Then, she told me she was a singer too, and, in fact she was going to music camp next week. She was adorable, so full joy and energy. I felt entertained and blessed to have met her… and her parents, who obviously had their hands full with such a spit-fire girl!

Yesterday, Day 17, I did something decadant, nourishing and healing. I got up, called the Emerson Resort and booked a massage. I knew about the Emerson because I used to try to sell advertising to them for New York House, and while I’d seen the resort, which is gorgeous, I’d never used their spa… which is also gorgeous. I had a wonderful massage from Jodi (ask for her if you go there! She’s great!), a bit of a steam, and then floated home. Even though it’s pricy there, when you book any service, like a massage or facial, you have full use of the spa facilities, like the steam room, sauna, hot tub, as well as the workout facilities. And the atmosphere is lovely. It’s worth taking a break and taking some time there.

Onward to yet more new experiences!

On Day 12 of this project, which was July 13, I grabbed my bon vivant and my camera and headed down to the marina in Kingston where we bought sandwiches at the Rondout Deli (yummy turkey & avocado wraps) and ate on the grass near Mariner’s restaurant. Afterwards, we wandered down to feed the ducks and geese, which I hadn’t done for so long, and I took some photos, like the one in this blog post.

On Day 13, I made Chicken with Lots of Garlic for dinner. This is a totally new recipe for me, one I snatched from Yummly.com. I’d been wanting to make this recipe for awhile, but it’s been too dang hot to cook lately. Our kitchen is the hottest room in the house, so an adventure in cooking hasn’t sounded appealing until last Wednesday. It was fun to try something new, and Mark loved the chicken. I, on the other hand, thought it was just okay. I’d make it again, just because it was so much fun and very garlicky, but next time, I’ll be careful not to heat the olive oil too much before browning the chicken. I think that’s where I went wrong.

Yesterday was Day 14, and I had a blast going to the Ulster County Musicians Network meetup at Skytop Steakhouse & Brewing Company. I met 3-4 people there whom I’ve met virtually, on Facebook or Twitter, but have never met face to face. Like Jude DeFalco, Stephen Crawford, and Neil Alexander. I also got to talk with Peter Aaron, a great bio writer and the musician whose gig I ended up NOT going to on that Comedy of Errors day, Day 8 of this project. Yes, he’s still talking to me.

So, what will my new experience be today? Hmmmm….

Some days are jampacked with new experiences, like last Friday. But this past Saturday and Sunday… not so much.

On Saturday, I bought kale, eggs and bacon at Kingston Natural Foods in the Rondout. Yes, this was a new experience in that I’d never bought any of those items at Kingston Natural Foods ever before. I know, I’m really stretching it here, but in all fairness, I had a slew of new experiences the night before so I think I deserve a little creative leeway.

On Sunday, July 11, I ate bacon that cost $9 a pound. To my knowledge, I’ve never eaten bacon that costs this much. It was from Gray Horse Farm, and while I believe in supporting local farmers and ranchers as much as any displaced Californian does, I wouldn’t buy this bacon again. It wasn’t spicey or smoked enough, it was too thick and tough, and the taste was reminiscent of pork rinds (an observation made by my bacon-sharing bon vivant).

But the eggs we had with that bacon were from Gray Horse Farm as well, and they were very tasty.

Okay, today was Day 11 of my 31 Days of Experiencing New Things experiment, and I was at a loss. What to do, what to do, what to do? I took the long way home after picking up my posters for my upcoming gig at Savona’s (Thursday, July 29, people!), but that didn’t feel “new” enough.

So, I did the oddest thing. I wrote a completely nonsensical poem. I picked a meter and rhyme sequence, then I just let myself write whatever words came. The result was, well, terrible. It stinks! But it was freeing, to just write words without worrying about meaning. Kind of like writing lyrics to a “Yes” song. I just may do it again!

As a writer, sometimes things just flow easily and vibrantly onto the page. And sometimes, they don’t. And for some reason, when they don’t, if feel as if they never will, ever again, that your entire career is over, and you’ll never write anything worth reading ever again.

That was my day on Thursday.

But despite this despair, I kept my commitment and I did something new. I dragged my bon vivant Mark out onto our slightly sloping deck and we each had a glass of wonderful, Uptick Zinfandel from California, as we watched the drama and beauty of our neighborhood dance below us. Two lean young black boys riding bikes stopped just below us and silently, as if they had been choreographed, exchanged bikes, and then rode on. It was silent, graceful and beautiful.

Cars roared by, some of them playing loud rap music. Two young teenage girls in skintight jeans walked past towards Spring Street. And while I’d had a tough day, sitting outside in the summer evening, feeling the thick, humid air on my skin, I knew my mood would pass and all would be well.

And then, there was yesterday. Friday, July 9. I had my “new experience” all planned because I was going to go see Peter Aaron perform at the Beahive in Kingston. I’d never heard Peter’s Avondale Airforce, nor had I heard live music at the Beahive, so I was set. New experience locked in!

Plus, Mark wanted to go Market Market in Rosendale after Peter’s show because starting at 9:00 pm, there was going to be “This Ain’t Your Mama’s Karaoke,” and listening to Mark sing karaoke would be yet another new experience for me.

But what ended up happening was one unplanned, unexpected, silly mishap after another.

It started with a surprise. Mark decided that we needed yet another new experience to accompany the one I’d already had planned, so he told me, “We’re going somewhere before we go hear Peter, so be ready to leave by 6:45.” Okay. You betcha!

It didn’t take long for me to realize, once we were in the car and headed north on Broadway in Kingston, that he was taking me to the Carnival that was happening at the Kingston Plaza. What Mark hadn’t planned on was all the traffic delays due to the fact there was also a children’s parade scheduled that evening. By the time we got to the Carnival, we didn’t have a lot of time to spend there if we were to make the 8:00 pm curtain for Peter Aaron’s show.

But we made the best of it. We walked through the Carnival, taking in the spectacle of all the rides, like the Scrambler (which had been unfortunately renamed the “Sizzler”), the huge, wide spaceship-shaped ride where the floor drops out and you’re mashed into the sides by centrifugal force, the Fun House, the stomach-wrenching, upside down Ferris wheel thingy, and those crazy, P-shaped cages that can flip over and upside down as they rotate round and round and round.

But we didn’t go on any rides because we knew we had to be at Peter’s show soon. So we walked, ate a little junk food, and then headed to the show.

When we got to the Beahive, Peter and his musical partner were outside. We went up to them, introduced ourselves (since I’d only met Peter through email, never in person), and that’s when he told us that they were on second; there was a warm-up group going on first.

“What?” I said, “you mean we could have stayed at the Carnival for another hour?” I was only half kidding. I couldn’t believe we’d rushed over to the Beahive only to find out we’d have to wait another hour to hear Peter play. Why hadn’t the Beahive Meetup announcement made that clear? I was disappointed only because we’d cut short a fun, spontaneous excursion to make this show, and the show wouldn’t start for more than an hour.

Mark and I considered having a glass of wine at Elephant, a nearby tapas and wine bar, until Peter went on, but we were torn because we also wanted to get to Rosendale for “This Ain’t Your Mama’s Kararoke.” So, we decided to let go of hearing Peter and head off to Market Market so we could have a glass of wine there and settle in before the karaoke began.

I hated to miss Peter, since I’d been planning on this experience for weeks now, but this night had ideas of its own as the comedy of errors continued.

At Market Market, we grabbed a couple of seats at the bar which overlooked the kitchen and the automatic Jiffy Pop popcorn-making machine (an amazing, old tin machine that shakes a Jiffy Pop aluminum pan across a heating element until the popcorn starts popping wildly, at which point it stops, automatically shuts off the heat and let’s the popcorn pop like crazy. I swear, it is worth the entire trip to Market Market just to see this thing work.) A drum set and microphones had been set up, which seemed odd for a night of karaoke. But maybe this is what they meant by “not your Mama’s Karaoke.” We had about 45 minutes until it was scheduled to start, so we ordered some food.

Then Mark decided to take a look around outside. He wasn’t gone 3 minutes when he showed up at the restaurant door, curling his index finger at me, signaling me to follow him. When I joined him outside, he pointed to a flyer posted on the wall outside the door. It was a picture of some guy with today’s date, July 9, and the time, 9:00 pm. Seems that this wasn’t the night for “This Ain’t Your Mama’s Karaoke” but was in fact the night for two folk artists to perform. We just looked at each other and laughed. This whole evening had been one ill-timed mistake after another. But now it was funny.

And just as we’d regretted not staying longer at the Carnival, now we regretted not having stayed to hear Peter perform at the Beahive. But hey, what are you going to do?

We stayed to hear a couple of songs by the guy whose face was on the poster (I don’t remember his name), and then headed home. I convinced Mark to swing by the Holiday Inn where our friend Joe was playing drums with a less than great band. Joe’s wife Diane had told me she would be there, so we figured, okay, why not? The whole night had been so strange anyway, the Holiday Inn couldn’t make it any stranger.

Turns out Diane wasn’t there after all, but Joe was playing so we stayed long enough to hear a couple of songs. And as we were walking to the car to go home, the sky filled with the pops, booms and bright, shimmering lights. Fireworks were being set off near the Carnival, but we could see them clearly from the parking lot. We stopped and watched until the display was over then headed home.